Q. How do I perform confession?

A. Some Catholics have been away from the sacrament of Confession (also called Reconciliation or Penance) for a long time. Many who have not taken advantage of this sacrament feel awkward when they consider going to Confession. But there is no need to feel awkward or embarrassed. This sacrament is an encounter with the loving Lord, who looks for us to turn to him and who is always ready to forgive. When a person returns to Confession after a long absence, the angels dance!

If you've been away for a while, or even if you go regularly, a brief review of what to do may be helpful.

First, the priest and penitent often exchange a greeting, or make the sign of the cross. Then the penitent tells the priest approximately how long it has been since his or her last confession. The penitent then may share any fact about himself or herself that is relevant to the confession. For example, I tell the priest that I am a member of a religious order and a priest.

The penitent then confesses his or her sins. The sins are identified by general type, with some indication of how frequently the sin was committed. You don't have to include details, except when the detail affects the gravity of the sin. For example, if a person confesses 'fighting' they might add whether this was a verbal fight, or a physical fight, and whether injury resulted.

The priest may give words of advice or encouragement. Some priests do this frequently, others do not. If the penitent desires a more conversational discussion with the priest, it is best to schedule an appointment for confession rather than to try to do this during the scheduled times 'in the box.' The priest then gives a penance. The penance is usually a prayer or prayers, although the priest may give a penance of a work of charity or restitution based on the sins that were confessed.

The penitent says an Act of Contrition. So many people are afraid to go to confession because they cannot remember the Act of Contrition! But even if the penitent cannot remember a single word of a memorized prayer, the priest will help him or her with this. And anyone can just 'make up' an Act of Contrition on the spot. It just must express sorrow for sin and an intention to try to avoid sin in the future. Some Acts of Contrition are included at the end of this column.

The priest then says the words of absolution (forgiveness), speaking in the name of Christ himself: 'God the Father of Mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; though the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.'

Acts of Contrition:

"My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy."

Or - "O my God I am heartily sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins because of your just punishment, but most of all because they offend you my God, who are all good and worthy of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace to sin no more and to avoid whatever leads me to sin."

Or - "Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."